


Someday

by kierathefangirl



Category: 2p!hetalia - Fandom, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: 2P Italian trio, 2P Italian trio brotherly love, 2p gerita, :(, All aboard the Feels train, Bullying, Dark, Gen, It's okay in the end, M/M, but it's really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 23:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 4,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11497158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kierathefangirl/pseuds/kierathefangirl
Summary: Lutz gets tired of Lucca's B.S. and tells it like it is. Lucca realizes if he wants to keep Lutz around, he'll have to work for it.





	1. Wait!

**Author's Note:**

> This was written while listening to Someday by Nickleback (please no hating on Nickleback, that one is a good song), so if you want to get the full feels-train effect I'd suggest listening to it while reading.
> 
> This is POV-based (first person, sort of omniscient) and many chapters but a finished work.
> 
> CURSING WARNING. If you have a problem with cuss words, please do not read or do not complain. It is part of the characters.
> 
> Yaoi. Don't like, don't read.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lutz snaps and walks away. Lucca is shocked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucca's POV. Heartbreaking.

“Wait!”

He doesn’t turn. I slide the knife belt off with shaking fingers and drop it on the side table, then continue to chase him. “Wait! Lutz, please.”

My knees give out and I hit the ground. My body sinks back on my heels as tears—the first time I’ve cried in years—stream down my face. This is as close as I’ve ever come to begging in my life.

“Lutz, please, wait!”

I’ve never been this scared. My hands are trembling and my knees are throbbing and I reach out for him.

 _At every turn,_ his voice echoes in my head, _you keep hurting me. Whether it’s the stupid knives or hurtful words or whatever, it hurts. You keep pushing me away. I love you, but I’m not gonna keep putting up with this. I’m done fighting you. Figure out what you want before you try and talk to me again._

His voice was so cold, so empty. So _disappointed_. And it hurts. God, it hurts. I’ve never been desperate to have someone around. I’ve never gotten _attached_. But I can’t deny it this time; I’ve gotten attached to him. I’ve started to care. I don’t want him to go.

“Lutz!”

My voice breaks. Flavio comes out the door and kneels down, laying a hand on my back. “Lucca? What’s wrong? Lucca?”

I scoot over a little and collapse against my elder brother, burying my tear-stained face in my hands. Flavio’s arms wrap around me, uncertain and confused. “Lucca?”

I pull my bloody knees up to my chest and bury my face in my jeans. The only think I can manage to say is a broken “ _No_.”

“Seb!” Flavio calls. “Seb, I need your help!”

Sebastiano comes out the door and crosses his arms. “What’s so important? I’m talking to my girlfriend.”

Flavio raises his head to give Sebastiano a wide-eyed look. “He’s crying. And all I can get out of him is the word no. Something’s seriously wrong.”

Sebastiano’s expression softens to a more concerned look and he comes up the walk, kneeling down and laying a hand on my shoulder. “Lucca?”

I tighten my grip on my knees, pulling them closer to my chest. Sebastiano glances up the path. “Didn’t he have a friend over?”

“Yeah, Lutz. Wait...” Flavio runs his fingers shakily through my hair. “You’re not saying _he_ caused this?”

“It’s possible. I don’t see him anywhere. He probably got into an argument and left.” Sebastiano pauses. “He’s bleeding. Let’s get him inside.”

Flavio rises to his feet, carrying me inside and setting me down on the couch. Sebastiano wipes the blood from my knees and puts a big band-aid on each knee, then closes his hand on one of mine. “Lucca.”

I roll off the couch and straight into his lap, curling up against him. Seb looks really surprised, then wraps his arms protectively around me. “Flavee? Did you see any part of this?”

Flavio shakes his head. “All I saw was him on the ground crying. I don’t know what happened. He hasn’t cried since he was five and he broke his foot. This is different.”

Seb tightens his grip and rests his head lightly on mine. “Shhhh,” he hushes me, “it’s okay. It’s okay.”


	2. What Happened?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucca tells his brothers what happened and says it's not Lutz's fault that he got tired of Lucca's B.S.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2P Italy's POV.

After falling asleep for about an hour and having finally calmed, both my brothers have a lot of questions. Now we’re sitting on the couch, and they sit on either side of me. My face is finally dry, my feet rest in Flavio’s lap, and my head rests in Sebastiano’s lap.

“What happened?” Flavio demands.

“Was it Lutz?” Sebastiano asks, running his fingers soothingly through my hair.

“Why were you crying?” Flavio pushes.

I close my eyes. “It’s not his fault.”

“What?” they ask.

I release a slow breath. “He got tired of getting pushed away. It’s not his fault.”

“You got attached,” Flavio says questioningly.

I shrug. “As attached as someone as messed up as me can get.”

“You’re not messed up,” Flavio protests.

“Have you looked around at the normal people?” I shoot back. “Yes, I am. We all are. And he’s on the normal end but he’s messed up, too. It’s not his fault he got tired of it.”

“Tired of your bullshit,” Sebastiano suggests.

I nod. Flavio grits his teeth. “It’s not your fault! Look at what we’ve been through.”

“I’m not saying it’s my fault, either,” I agree quietly. “But some of it’s on me. Some of it is him, but not a lot. I just get scared too easily.”

Sebastiano massages my head lightly with stiff fingers, something cold behind his eyes. “It’s not your fault you get scared. It’s theirs; it’s Henry’s.”

I shift uneasily. “He doesn’t know that. I still haven’t...I haven’t told him.”

I close my eyes again. “It might make it easier if he knew. But I’m scared to tell him.”

“Do you trust him?”

I hesitate. “I think so.”

“Then why are you so scared?”

I swallow. “I don’t know. That’s the problem; _I. Don’t. Know_.”

Sebastiano sighs. “Maybe he just needs some time. Give him a few days, see how much he likes it when you’re gone. He’ll come ’round.”

“Yeah,” I agree blankly, but I doubt it. Lutz said to come find him once I’m sure what I want.

Flavio ruffles my hair and gets up. “Besides, he’s missing out already.”

I can’t fight a weak smile. “Yeah.”

Sebastiano lifts me into his lap and snuggles me for a minute or so, then he too gets up and leaves.

I get up and head into my room. _I don’t want to go to school tomorrow._ But Seb would kill me if I didn’t.


	3. Give Him Some Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gil gives Lutz some advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2P Germany's POV. He's talking to 2P Prussia. (Gilen alias Gil)
> 
> Brief. Lutz worrying over Lucca.

“Give him some space,” Gil suggests. “And some time. He’ll come ’round. He’ll miss you. You’ll see.”

“Yeah,” I agree quietly. “I just—I’ve never heard his voice break. I’ve never seen him cry. It needed to be said, it needed to be done. But I want to know if he’s okay. I can’t stop loving him just ’cause I’m upset. I’m worried about him. What if he’s cutting again? What if he’s refusing to leave his room and look his brothers in the eye because he can’t stop crying?”

“Lutz,” Gil says, massaging my shoulder, “you can’t control what he does. Just give him time. I know you love him. It’d be impossible not to notice. But if you don’t let him figure this out on his own, you’ll never know if he loves you back. You’ll never know if he listened to you. You can’t keep going running back to him every time you’re worried! It’s okay to worry. Just don’t go running back. Let him come crawling back to you, and then you’ll know the truth.”

I swallow hard. “Okay.”


	4. School, Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucca (reluctantly) goes to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucca's POV. Still heartbreaking.
> 
> Brief mentions of bullying and violence and Lucca not fighting back.

“You look like shit,” Flavio tells me.

“Thanks,” I say sarcastically.

He shakes his head. “No, seriously. Are you okay?”

I shake my head. “I’d skip school but Seb would kill me. I couldn’t sleep.”

I pull my backpack on and tug my hood out from under the bag. “Not like I’m gonna be able to focus on the work anyway. But last time I skipped a class, I got seriously chewed out by him. I’m not going through that again. Not when I’m already a mess.”

I head out the door before he can stop me.

“Aren’t you gonna eat breakfast?” he calls after me.

_As if I could stomach anything after that._

I drag myself to school. I’m so tired I even managed to forget my belt of knives, which leaves me exposed and vulnerable to the bullies that hate me so much. Let alone the fact that I’m too tired to fight back.

I collapse in class, ignoring the teacher’s question. His voice is muffled to me, and I can’t think straight. Knowing I’m within a mile of Lutz makes it hurt worse. I want to go back. I want to tell him I’m sorry. I want to explain everything. But I need to wait. I need to listen to my brothers and I need to wait him out.

The teacher lays a hand on my shoulder and I jump a little. “You alright, son?”

I shake him off. “I’m fine.”

My voice is so dry it almost breaks again. “Go get some water, son,” the teacher says. “You need it.”

I do as I’m told, filling my water bottle and downing it before refilling it and heading back into class. The class is beginning to fill now, and I drop my bottle next to my bag and sink down a little in my chair.

The teacher gives me a concerned look and writes something down, then turns his eyes to others in the class. Luckily I don’t have a class with Lutz until sixth, so I can avoid him most of the day.

**_~~le time skip~~_ **

I drag myself back to my feet and wipe the blood from my lips. They’re laughing and talking about how I didn’t fight back this time. “Must be tired,” one of them says.

I get that tingly feeling that I’m being watched and look up. Just at the end of the hall, Lutz hesitates with one foot slightly in the air. The moment he’s spotted, he turns and walks away.

I swallow hard past the lump in my throat, past the bloody knotted skein of a stomach, down to the twisted mess that is my heart. I take a deep breath, wipe the blood from my skin, and head off up the hall like nothing happened. I still have one more class before I have to face him.

I barely make it through Calculus. I’m so out of focus the teacher asks if I need to go to the nurse and have my temperature checked. “Just tired,” I tell her.

“If you’re sure.”

She heads back to the front of the class. Finally the bell rings, and I stuff everything in my back and quickly leave before she can ask any other questions.

Now for the hardest part of the day. My heart is pounding painfully against my ribcage. I slip into sixth and go straight for the seat in the far back corner.

Lutz sits up front as if he doesn’t see me—and maybe he doesn’t. But I can’t keep my eyes off him.

Finally I tear my eyes away and stuff everything in my bag, dropping my heavy head to the desk. _I have nothing left to lose; why am I so scared?_

My eyes drop closed. I’m woken up by a gentle hand, the presence of whom vanishes the moment I move. The bell rings moments later, and I force myself to my feet.

I glance up. The teacher gives me a concerned look and turns away.

I grab my bag and drag myself from the building. I barely make it home before collapsing in bed and passing out again.


	5. Exausted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lutz notices how out of it Lucca is and worries some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lutz's POV. 
> 
> Very brief.

_He was exhausted,_ my brain tells me. _He never falls asleep in class. And it looked like he’d been crying recently. It hasn’t even been a full day yet._

I shake it off. I don’t need to be thinking about that right now. I have homework to get done. And then I need a nap. I barely got any sleep last night, I was so worried. And it looks like that worry was well-accounted for. He actually _is_ hurt.


	6. I'm Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucca has a nightmare. He tells Sebastiano he is fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucca's POV.

A gentle hand wakes me up. “Lucca.”

I push myself up a bit. Sebastiano sits on the edge of the bed, eyes tired and drooping. “You were yelling in your sleep.”

“Sorry.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. Are you okay?”

I hesitate, then shrug. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine. Did those kids beat you up again?”

I drop my eyes, glad for an excuse not to talk about Lutz. “Maybe. I forgot my knives.”

“You didn’t sleep.”

I shift uneasily. “No, I didn’t. He doesn’t look happy, either. He won’t even look at me. It’s killing me.”

He hugs me briefly. He’s not normally so physically affectionate, but he seems to know I need it. “Just a couple more days. You’ve got this.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

I lay back down and throw a hand over my eyes. He gets up and flips the light off, shutting the door behind him.


	7. It Would Hurt Less To Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucca tells Hayden he has nothing left to fight for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucca's POV. Most heartbreaking of all.
> 
> Implied violence.

“You’re not fighting back,” Hayden says. “Why?”

I shift a little. “I have nothing left to lose. Nothing to fight for. No _one_ to fight for.”

“You’d rather die?”

I swallow, then nod. “Please. It would hurt less.”

He laughs. “Sure.”


	8. Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lutz notices Lucca isn't at school. He is worried. :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lutz's POV.

He’s gone. He’s never missed a day of school before. I can’t find him anywhere, and it’s starting to stress me out. I check all his normal hideouts, I even check his classes. But he’s nowhere to be found. Even his teachers don’t know where he is. He didn’t show up, they tell me.

I flop down in sixth. He’s not here, either. Something’s wrong. Something’s very wrong. I can’t shake it.


	9. Doctor Beilshmidt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucca drags himself the rest of the way to Lutz's house. Lutz's dad (who's a doctor) discovers him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucca's POV.
> 
> Implied violence.

Finally I manage to drag my body up onto the step and drop a fist on the door. It makes a loud bang, and I collapse in an exhausted heap on the ground.

The door opens, and Lutz’s father Doctor Beilshmidt peels me off the concrete. “Jesus Christ.”

Doctor Beilshmidt carries me to his car and buckles my limp body to the seat, goes back to lock the door, then gets in and slams the gas.

Everything blurs for a moment, then suddenly I’m on a bloody bed in a bright white room. “My god,” he mutters. “What the hell happened?”

“Luciano,” he says. “Luciano, can you hear me?”

I move a little. That’s enough for him to know I can hear. “You’re not gonna die,” he says. “You’re gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

_Whether or not I survive doesn’t matter to me._

He swallows as if he heard me. “It’s gonna be okay,” he says shakily.


	10. He Was In The Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doctor Beilshmidt tells Lutz why Lucca wasn't at school today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lutz's POV.

“Lucca wasn’t at school,” I tell him.

“Of course he wasn’t. He was in the hospital,” Dad answers.

“He was _what?_ ”

Dad shrugs. “He was bleeding out. I did what I can but he’ll be sore for awhile.”

“What happened?”

Dad shrugs again. “He won’t tell me anything. He just asked me not to say anything to his brothers.”

I bite my lip. “That’s not good. He tells them everything.”

Dad raises an eyebrow. “It was the only thing he _would_ say. ‘ _Just don’t tell my brothers._ ’”


	11. Day Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucca tells himself this is day three, this is the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucca's POV. Protective-big-brother Italian trio.

I finally make it through the third day. Lutz is starting to falter. He looked at me during sixth, and he looked sort of concerned. I wonder if his dad told him I was at the hospital yesterday.

The moment I get home, Flavio pulls me aside. “Lutz told me his dad said you were in the hospital yesterday. You weren’t at school all day. What happened?”

 _Shit._ I try to move away. Flavio pins me to the wall. “Talk to me.”

I drop my eyes. “It’s nothing.”

“You don’t go to the _hospital_ for nothing.”

“It was just a little blood,” I protest.

“Seb!” Flavio calls. “Lucca was in the hospital yesterday!”

Sebastiano pops out of his room and appears over Flavio’s shoulder. “What?”

“He won’t talk about it,” Flavio says. “He says it’s nothing. I heard about it from kids at school. Hayden and his buddies were laughing about it.”

I wince. Sebastiano lays a hand on my shoulder. “What happened?”

Surprisingly, his voice is the softer one this time. Usually Flavio is the gentle one.

I shuffle my feet. “It was just a little blood.”

“A little doesn’t mean hospital visit,” Seb disagrees firmly. “What happened?”

I glance at him. They’re both immovable.

I swallow hard and drop my eyes again. “Hayden.”

“Hayden hit you?”

“More than just that. He tried to kill me.”

“Why?” Flavio demands.

Now I look him in the eye and deadpan, “Because I asked.”

Flavio looks taken aback. “You...asked him to kill you? Then why’d you go to the hospital?”

I swallow and drop my eyes again. “Hayden ended up dragging me to Lutz’s house. His dad found me.”

“Oh.” Flavio pulls back. “Why?”

I close my eyes. “I already told you, I’m a mess. I’d rather die than try and look him in the eye again.”

Sebastiano pulls me off the wall and against his chest. “You’re not allowed to die. I love you too much to let you do that. You can get through this. It’s been three days. One more night, and you can talk to him. Just a few more hours, then it’s over.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

I slip into my room without another word. _Just a few more hours._

The thought is enough for my exhausted, restless body to slip to a heavy sleep.


	12. Can't Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lutz can't sleep. :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lutz's POV.

“He’s gotten better,” I tell Gil. “But he still looks like shit. He was in the hospital yesterday. The kids were jeering that he wasn’t fighting back. That’s unlike him. He _always_ fights back. I can’t sleep.”

Gil sighs and waves me over. It’s been nearly two decades since I’ve been invited to sleep in his room. “Come here.”

I push off the door jam and make my way over. He pulls me down next to him and wraps his arms tightly around me, tugging the blankets over both of us. “Try and sleep. It won’t do you any good to waste time you could be sleeping. He’ll talk to you tomorrow. It’s been a few days.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

I shut my eyes and slip into an uneasy sleep. I’ve never been so worked up over something so stupid.


	13. This Is The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucca goes back to school and makes it through one last day. Lutz wants to talk to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucca's POV. More upbeat than the last few.
> 
> I time-skipped Lucca's history. This is because, in here, (for those who want to know) Lucca was abused and getting death-threats for being gay and Henry (2P!Holy Rome) raped and nearly killed him. So there's no point in going into details and killing everyone. :/

“You’re eating this morning,” Flavio points out, surprised. “You haven’t eaten in days.”

I swallow the last bite of toast and drop the plate in the sink. “Hungry.”

“You lost your appetite over him?” he asks slowly.

I raise an eyebrow. “Maybe. Doesn’t matter.”

I grab my bag, sling it over one shoulder, and head out the door. This time, leaving the knife belt behind is a conscious choice. Lutz won’t let them hurt me.

I walk to school today instead of taking the bus. It gives me more time to think, and it gives me time to slow my racing heart and breathe.

I dart across the road and head up into the school. People turn to stare at me, noticing the sudden energy in my step. I’ve never really been happy, but I’ve never been in love either. And I think what Lutz said explains exactly what I’m feeling; I’m in love with him, but since I don’t know what love is I’ve been confused and trying to put two and two together. Why he makes me happy, why he smiles around me and no one else. But now it all makes sense. I understand, for the first time in many years. I understand.

I take a deep breath and head into first. I’ll talk to him at lunch.

The teacher smiles at me. “Morning, Luciano.”

“Morning,” I answer cheerfully, flopping down and getting out my homework and some paper.

“You’re cheerful today,” he says, pleasantly surprised.

I grin and drop my pencil on the table. “Why shouldn’t I be?”

“You’ve been pretty down the last few days,” he reminds me.

“I wasn’t sleeping,” I say as if it explains everything. “I was really tired.”

“Ah.”

**_~~le time skip~~_ **

Just by pure chance, I end up behind Lutz in line. But I’m not bold enough to say anything, so I don’t. We both get our food and I head for the lonely corner table like I usually do. When I pass him, he turns as if he wants to say something then stops and tilts his head.

I flop down and scoop up the garbage the school feeds us. I normally hate it, but I haven’t eaten in three days. I need it.

The rest of the day is a blur, then it slows way down when I sit in sixth, in the back as usual. I swear I can even see the dust floating by.

Lutz hesitates a moment, then makes his way to the back and sits down next to me.

I flinch, if only out of habit. Lutz reaches out and lays a hand over mine, stilling my hand where it idly sketches on the blank paper.

My entire body goes still. It’s only been three days, but it feels like a lifetime. Before I understood my feelings and what was going on, and after. Three days was all it took for me to make sense of everything. It was a rough three days, but I made it out understanding something I’ve been trying to make sense of my whole life. Through Henry and through my family and through all the bullies, I’ve never understood anything I was feeling. Only Lutz could put it into words, could explain any kind of emotion: _I love you._

Lutz wraps his hand around mine, pulling the pencil out of my hand and setting it aside. I suppose that’s what couples do a lot of the time; they hold hands. But he’s never held my hand. _No one_ has ever held my hand. I’ve been hugged awkwardly by my brothers when I needed it; but I’ve never had anyone hold my hand before. Yet my hand closes as naturally on his as if I’ve been doing this for years.

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, through my hair like I’ve seen girls do in the sappy romantic movies. It’s a shy move, the move of a girl with her first crush.

Lutz isn’t looking in my direction, but he tightens his grip on my hand.

Sixth turns into a blur. I get my work done and so does he, but neither of us speak. It’s not until we begin to walk from the school that he reaches out and takes my hand again, and he redirects my step towards the park instead of towards home. I let him.

We walk in silence. But once we reach the park—and we’re in so deep no one will ever find us—he whirls back towards me and drops my hand again. I flinch back and drop my eyes.

He takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

I shift uneasily. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Yes, I do,” he insists. He reaches out and takes my hand. “You were crying. And I doubt you were sleeping, since I’ve never seen you fall asleep in class before. Hayden was boasting that you weren’t fighting back.”

I shake my head slowly. “That’s not your fault. It’s...not mine either, not really. That’s what I haven’t been telling you. It’s why I left _Italy_. It’s _Henry_. It’s my _family_. It’s why my brothers and I are here alone. It’s why we’re as messed up as we are.”

“You’re not—”

“Let me finish.” I take a deep breath and look up. “I didn’t fight back because I felt like I deserved far worse. It hurt less than what I was already feeling. I was scared, I wasn’t hurt. I was scared of losing you. I was scared of feeling anything. I was _scared_. You’re right, I wasn’t sleeping. But it wasn’t you like my brothers thought it was, it was the flashbacks. It was Italy that was holding me back.”

I close my hand on his. “I’m scared to fall in _love_ because of Henry. I’m scared to _trust_ because of my family. And I’m scared of falling in love with someone who’s _not_ a girl because in Italy, the mafia will send you death threats if they get wind you might not be straight. And I—I can work on that. But I want you to understand. Let me explain.”

Lutz takes a step closer and sweeps his arms wide. “I’m listening.”

**_~~le time skip~~_ **

Lutz reaches out but doesn’t touch me. I take a step forward and wrap my arms around him, releasing a slow breath. Lutz wraps his arms tightly around me, burying his face in my shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Everyone does.” I tuck my cheek against his chest. “I know they’re not sorry. All that matters is you understand. I _am_ trying. I just—I’m fucked up. Literally.”

A weak laugh forces its way out of my throat. “And I’m sorry I don’t know what I’m doing. Just...please give me a chance. The only thing in the world I’m certain of is that I love you. And I’ve never said that to anyone, not even my brothers, so please don’t make me regret it.”

Lutz tightens his grip. “You can have all the chances you want. Just please let me in.”

“I can’t make any promises.” We pull apart and I almost smile at him. “But I can try.”


End file.
